Life is filled with moments, moments where fear and irrationality take over, moments where we give into years of limiting beliefs, years of feeling inadequate, years of fear based thoughts and opinions. Yet, it is in those moments we learn our biggest lessons, it is when we overcome those moments we learn our true strength.
It is no secret I have been struggling with my fears, with my my insecurities for years, and while I am far better with them than I have been in years, I still have many moments of weakness, many moments where I allow them to win out, moments where I forget my own power, moments where I forget my value or worth. I had one of those moments last night and voiced my concerns and fears to a very good friend of mine, and rather than being met with anger, with resentment, with harsh words, I was met with empathy, with understanding, with someone who chose to validate my feelings, who chose to see that while I am generally a beacon of light, light, hope, and positivity I do still have areas in which I need to grow. In the past when I would bring these sorts of topics up, especially to someone such as this person, I would be made to feel like I was being crazy, like I was being irrational, like I had to feel shame for these feelings. Yet, now I am being made to feel accepted.
In the past, for so many years of my life I found myself unable to voice these fears, unable to speak of my insecurities with others, but as I get further into this spiritual journey, as I delve deeper into my life coaching business, I find myself being far more forthright in vocalizing that which is on my mind. I am no longer, willing to just sit back and pretend like everything is fine, as to not ruffle any feathers, I am no longer willing to hold back my thoughts or opinions out of fear of backlash. It serves no purpose, but rather keeps me from allowing someone to give me the support & understanding I may need at that time. By keeping it to myself, I am not giving others the chance to help me, to show me that they are different from those in my past. By keeping those fears, those limiting beliefs in, those insecurities secret, I am creating a home for resentment, for anger, and keeping myself from growing.
It is truly one of the best feelings in the world to have people in my life, who see all of who I am, who see beauty where most saw flaws, who see progress where most saw limits, who see authenticity where most saw something to ashamed of. It is such a wonderful thing, when you can be unapologetically you without fear of backlash, of negativity. I am honestly beyond grateful for the amazing support system I have built in my life. Without whom I would not be here today, without whom I would not have this blog or this business. We all need at least one person we can go to, one person we can tell our deepest darkest fears to, one person who we can be our perfectly imperfect selves with. I am quite lucky as I now have at least 5 of those people in my life. I have found my soul family and to me that is the greatest gift and blessing in the world. If I take nothing else away from this journey, I take great pride and comfort in knowing that I will always have them in my life as they will always have me.
Acceptance is a powerful thing, especially when it is something one may not be used to. It is such a beautiful thing, when you can talk about your fears, about your insecurities, about your limiting beliefs, about areas in which you need to improve without fear of judgment. It is a beautiful thing when you are made to feel like it is okay to have those feelings, like you are not broken. It is a beautiful thing when you find someone who sees the darkest parts of you and loves you anyway and accepts you completely. It is a beautiful thing when one is able to free to be whomever they are.
We spend so much time, especially those in my industry, creating this perfect persona, we are careful to not be too open, to not be too vulnerable, to not be too sad, to not be too this or too that, but that is never how I want to be, and it is never how I have been nor will I ever be. I believe, in being real, in being raw, in being authentic. I believe in showing my vulnerabilities, in letting the world see my fears, see the areas of myself, of my life, where I still need to grow. For it is in those moments, we find commonality, it is in those moments we find another who just gets it, we find our soul family. When people read my blog, use my services, watch my videos, or whatever I want them to know that no matter what they will always be met with empathy, with understanding, with compassion. I want people to realize that who I am as a writer, as a coach, as a motivational speaker and who I am outside of my profession are one in the same. The Unicorn Phoenix Goddess is not just some persona I created for this blog/business, she is who I am at my core.
She is far from perfect, she has her moments of crazy, her moments where old fears and limiting beliefs still have a bit of a hold, moments where new limiting beliefs and fears may try to take root, she is still struggling with many aspects of self and of life, moments of weakness, moments of great sorrow, moments of weakness, moments of negativity. But she also has moments of brilliance, moments of clarity, moments where she takes all that pain, all that sorrow, all that fear and channels it into creating a better, healthier, thriving version of herself.
I am far from perfect and honestly I am more than okay with that fact, as perfect in unobtainable. I love the person I am, the growth I have made, and I love the direction my life is taking me. While, there is still plenty of work I must do, I am far better than I was a year or even six months ago, and I will be even better one year or six months from now. Life is a journey, and if we are not striving for better, for more, for growth we are doing ourselves a great disservice.
I always talk about choice, about how the choices me make reflect the life we live, the thoughts we have, the future we create.
I CHOOSE TO OVERCOME, TO PREVAIL, TO PERSEVERE!
I CHOOSE TO BE OPEN AND HONEST WITH MY FEARS, TO NOT HOLD BACK OR SHY AWAY FROM SUBJECTS THAT SOME MAY VIEW AS NEGATIVE OR PERHAPS EVEN CONTROVERSIAL!
I CHOOSE TO LET OTHERS IN, WHERE I SO MANY TIMES PUSHED THEM AWAY, I CHOOSE TO SHOW EVERY SIDE OF MYSELF TO THE WORLD!
I CHOOSE TO ALWAYS BE VULNERABLE, TO ALWAYS BE AUTHENTIC, TO ALWAYS BE REAL AND RAW!
I CHOOSE TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT IS YOU CAN BE BOTH VULNERABLE AND STRONG, THAT YOU CAN BE BOTH BEAUTIFUL AND WISE, THAT YOU CAN HAVE BOTH FEAR AND COURAGE!
I CHOOSE TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT I AM FAR FROM PERFECT, THAT I STRUGGLE TO THIS DAY, BUT ALSO THAT I LOVE MY IMPERFECTIONS, THAT THE STRUGGLE DOES NOT HAVE TO DEFINE ME!
HAVE A MAGICAL DAY MY BEAUTIFUL BADDASS UNICORN PHOENIX GODDESSES!